Trust and Trials

It’s been some time since I last posted. I went through a moment where I didn’t have the right words and I don’t like to write anything just to say I did it. That moment then transitioned to another opportunity in launching a podcast with a dear friend (The Messy Message Podcast). Needless to say, the podcast has taken up much of my time, though it’s panning out to be one of the most developing and inspiring tasks set before me yet. But today, God stirred up in my heart to post again. And in my time with Him today, I reflected once again on our relationship (mine with God) and the trust He’s requiring of me.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned a time or two in previous blogs my journey/struggle with trusting God. It’s been the loudest whisper in my life and the details in which God has pulled me close to show me all the ways I’ve lacked trust in Him have been eye opening to say the least. It’s been years now. At least three years where God has intentionally pried control out of my hands and lovingly shown me why He alone is to be trusted. For years, I have been on the same journey of stripping down and getting back to the basics to find God at the true center of my life. Releasing control, letting go of idols, dying to my old ways, and stepping forward in His light have been the steady walk with God I choose to take everyday. Some days I meet back up with the old Alexis, trying her hardest to be allowed back in. And most days, I am met by the true heart of my Father who reminds me of the bondage He’s rescued me from.

Scripture reminds me in Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight” It’s a verse so very close to my heart. When God met me in the middle and I made the most conscious and sobering decision of my life to date to TRUST God and take Him at His Word, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew I would be met with adversity and suffering. I knew that I was going to have to shed and peel off the old me so that no remanence of her appeared. But what I didn’t know is what all of that really looked like. In reality, I didn’t know it would mean unemployment in the middle of a pandemic when my husband and I planned for more and better things financially, I didn’t know on top of that I would become pregnant with our third child and that it would exasperate our living expenses, and how could I have known the negative impact of e-learning would have on my middle school aged child? There was no way I would have ever known. But where I find peace is not in my own understanding. I find peace in knowing all that I didn’t know, my Father did. I cry at the mere thought of that. MY FATHER KNEW. And He always does.

As I share today, I find myself more enlightened by the intentional love of God. This isn’t because the path ahead of me is clear; as a matter of fact, I’m still looking forward trusting in God to see me through. Through struggle, through pain, and through hurt, God whispered “trust me” and that’s what I intend to do. Through all things, I will bless the Lord. As you read this please understand God is in the business of refining His children. Those whom He has called and respond to His call will constantly be refined. Getting me to trust in Him fully, wasn’t going to come without removing me from my own ways. He took things away like independence and reliance on things that were not Him. He pulled back the layers of my old ways and revealed my heart to me and allowed me to choose my will or His. Where does your allegiance lie? Are you content relying solely on your own understanding or are you willing to seek a way higher than your own? Your struggles may look different from mine but one thing I know for sure is we all have a struggle. If you want to God to meet you in the middle and grab you by the hand and lead you through life, please pray this prayer with me…

Abba, Father, God of all creation, meet me right here where I stand. I may be as broken as clay but I know you to be the potter and piece by piece you will restore me. Help me to understand that you are for me and not against me. Your ways are higher than my ways and your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. You are omniscient! You know all things! Each day of my life is already counted by you so help me to align with Your purpose and Your will. Please remove anything in my life that does not align with you. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Be encouraged knowing that God knows. Through trials God will build upon our trust in Him. The more you release, the more you gain. God is a faithful God. He is man of His word and faithful to His children.

Shall We Dance

About a few months back a dear friend and God fearing woman said to me, “Alexis, I had this vision of you dancing with the Holy Spirit”. She continues to tell me how I’m aligned with the Spirit and encourages me to keep going. I remember it so vividly because it was so encouraging to hear those words in this season of my life where I don’t always quite understand if I’m coming or going. 

Following up on the phone months later, I expressed to this same amazing sister how in this season I feel like God will give me assignments and then send me to rest. I’ll get a new assignment and then I’m sent back to rest. It’s this tempo of taking a few steps forward and then stepping in place. And my sister says to me again “it’s that dance with the Holy Spirit I saw you doing a few months ago”. Immediately, I got chills as I realized in that moment I have truly been dancing to the rhythm of the Holy Spirit. You know how you pray for God to lead you and He does just as you requested but because every step isn’t ordered the way you think it should go, you get discouraged? Well, that’s where I’ve been. 

Soon after being so blessed by my friends words of confirmation I was reminded of a time when I took Salsa lessons. I absolutely love to dance and very similar to life, I love to do it on my own, freely, moving to the rhythm the way I want to move. Salsa is typically a partner dance and as a female your male partner leads. So I took the class alone; I didn’t come with my husband as a partner so every class I danced with a different male lead. Often times we would form a line; men lined up on one side and women lined up on the other. Then, the women would move down the line changing partners each time to experience dancing with different leads. As I moved down the line I noticed how each lead danced a different way. Some moved fluently, some moved abruptly, some danced off beat and some seemed to smoothly glide with the tempo of the Salsa tunes. Every time I had to adjust but I never broke hold and never overruled the lead. 

Dancing with the Holy Spirit is just like dancing with a lead partner in Salsa. In various seasons of life His lead will look different. In some seasons the dance will be fluent as He leads you to mountain tops and your postured for high moments. In other times the dance can be a little off beat as He leads you through difficult times so you will lean in a little more, practice those steps more diligently, and ultimately trust Him to lead the way as you dance. When the Holy Spirit pricks your heart and asks you “Shall we dance?” say yes and let Him lead. No matter the flow or how uncoordinated it may seem, trust Him. It’s by far the best dance you’ll ever do. Allow Him to spin you, hold you, and keep you in rhythm. In essence, Let Go and Let God! We’ve all heard that before and in it’s simplicity it’s so true.

I pray that as you dance, you hold a firm posture guided by the Holy Spirit. Surrendering and completely trusting Him with each step you take. Lean in close so that you learn with each change of tempo, He’s still in control. 

“However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.” John‬ ‭16:13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Prayer:

Father, Thank You for the gift of your Holy Spirit that dwells in us and amongst us, guiding us, supporting us, and teaching us as we dance through life. It is an honor to be led by You. Help me to see this dance as beautiful movements of worship that bring honor to You. You are altogether lovely. I invite You to lead me in this dance today and everyday. It’s with a humble heart I pray, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

People Pleaser

People pleasing wasn’t ever a trait I considered to be an issue for me. I’ve always thought of myself as someone that would in fact stand firm on principles I hold true or the simple boldness of my own decisions. But the more self reflection I’ve done, the more I realize that there is a tendency to want to please others through considerations, being helpful, and being agreeable and sometimes to keep the peace. Not that those are necessarily bad attributes alone, but paired with the wrong heart is where we can begin to skate on thin ice.

People pleasing can be so sneaky because it has a sly way of making what is a harmless and kind gesture really get you off course from where God wants you to be or the truths He’s designed you to walk in. Accepting things God never intended for you to do or o have. It can blind side you through the emotion of wanting to be there for others or show up where maybe others aren’t. God always has a sound word to speak truth about our people pleasing ways. Receive this message from Paul: “On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4.

It’s easy to get trapped in the people pleasing web. And it’s important to understand it’s not with just friends and coworkers that we fall to people pleasing. We can fall just as easy with our spouses, our children, our parents, our siblings and those really close to our inner circle. It is the expectation of God that we put Him first in all ways. We must hold ourselves accountable to His word and not the words, feelings, and emotions of others. People will need you, people will have expectations for you but it is ultimately what God says that should reign King in our hearts. Find the strength through Christ to stand firm and hear God over the noise of the opinions of others. Again, Paul reminds us: “ Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10.

Prayer:

Father, I come to you with Thanksgiving in my heart. I am thankful for the truth that you speak in my life. Father, please help me to hear you louder than any other voice trying to distract the plan You have for my life. It is my heart to please You and not man. You are righteous, You are King, and You are God whom loves me and values me so much to share your Spirit of truth that I may walk forward in it everyday. It is in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Stay the Course

Preston at the beginning of the trail.

Being a parent, it’s often that God uses my children to teach me lessons. I am often put in parenting predicaments that usher my heart into the very heart of my Heavenly Father. The little guy you see pictured above is my handsome, loving, curious, smart and very active five year old, Preston. The other day, he and I hit the trail together walking approximately four to five miles. Pretty impressive for a five year old right?

Prior to the walk, we stopped and got smoothies and this adventure was quite the hype. He was so excited! A trail he’d never walked before and all the things we’d see along the way. The start of our trail excursion was great. He waved at every biker, complimented every dog, picked up sticks, chased squirrels and had the best time. We walked and walked and talked and talked until I realized just how far we traveled. That is when our marvelous journey took a rocky turn. The moment he realized that all the walking we had done to get where we were, we then had to turn around and go back somehow rattled him. Immediately Preston was fatigued, his feet hurt, he was thirsty, he was hungry and of course he had to use the restroom. It was way too far to walk back- which I agreed. The entire way back Preston complained and often got distracted. No matter how I tried to convince him, we have to keep moving to get to our destination, the more I noticed he’d stop and pout or get distracted. He was struggling to stay the course. He had no idea what the end looked like or when we would actually get there. And though I was well aware of where we were going and how to fully navigate to our destination, my son just wasn’t completely sold that my direction was getting us there and certainly not quick enough.

So painfully similar to my son, I often find myself on a destination, a new adventure of sorts and I am so thrilled for the journey ahead. I am geared up and I am ready to go. But the further I journey I realize that maybe I can’t fully comprehend the path I’m on. Sure, in the beginning it is fresh and new but what happens when you’re walking alongside of God and you no longer see the end or the final destination? Like my son, I get distracted, restless, hopeless and sometimes just flat out unmotivated to keep going. And just like I knew very well where we were and what it took to get us to our final destination, so does God for me. God knows the path, the way, the detours, the shortcuts, and the scenic route. He wants us to trust Him as our navigation system no matter how difficult or long the journey might seem. We must keep going, step by step in obedience and faith. I watched my son struggle to stay the course and I saw myself. Like God, I knew I wasn’t going to leave him and if he would just follow my lead, we would make it. God want’s to be the one leading us in any and every journey. He knows the way- He created it! There is nothing more comforting than knowing that there is no where we’ll ever be in life that God doesn’t already have a designated destination and He’ll lead us where we need to go.

Prayer:

Father, Thank You for being our life’s navigation system. I am so grateful that there is no path in which you can’t guide me or redirect me through. Please forgive me for the times that I lack complete trust in you. Thank You for your faithfulness even when I am faithless. You are such an amazing Father and Friend. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Created For Relationship

I remember it vividly, January 2020, I drove to a Groups Leader Gathering at my church under the crazy impression that God put on my heart to lead in a small group. I had never done it before, I was so nervous and I remember the entire ride there I kept getting this notion that maybe I was wrong, maybe God wasn’t telling me to lead anything at all. I remember my mind racing with doubt. After all, what did I have to give? I wasn’t a leader within the church. I arrived at church in my own head and ready to be told that I wasn’t ready to lead. Little did I know, I would be leading during a time when leadership was needed the most.

Thank God, I followed the nudge of the Holy Spirit that day. Prior to that night, through prayer, reading, and developing, I now realize God was preparing me for this moment. I knew that God wanted to stretch me and there was so much growth needed in me. I made a conscious decision to allow God to lead me in life which I had never really done before. My relationship with God looked more like bringing Him in after I created the mess saying “okay, I’ve jacked this up. Can you help?” A repetitive cycle I’ll address in another post. There was a restructuring of my heart that was beginning to truly lean in and allow God to lead me so that I could lead others into fostering a relationship like none other. The truth is, we all have something to give. Where is God nudging you to grow or lead? My growth was not my own in fact, my growth is greatly attributed to some incredible women in my life that came when I followed up on that very uncomfortable nudge to do something I normally would have convinced myself I had no business doing. Because of joining a small group, my life has been transformed.

Grow where you go. Follow the Holy Spirit’s leadings to a place of elevation. Community is at the heart of the Gospel. God never intended us to do life alone. Shortly after creating Adam, God created Adam’s help and mate, Eve. They were to be fruitful and multiply. They were to be each other’s help, companion, confidant, and worship partner. The expectation is for each of us whether introverts or extroverts to aid one other in growth. We were created for relationship with our Heavenly Father and with one another. So even if your small group isn’t within a church, at the very least challenge yourself to be conscious about your circle of influence. Do you have one? Is there anyone that holds you accountable for your success and growth? We all need that. Having the right people around during the many seasons of our lives makes the ups and downs more manageable. I love this quote by John C. Maxwell “Change is inevitable but growth is optional.” Don’t allow life to pass you by without sharing it with others. Fall in alignment to the way you were created and do life with others. You can only grow so far in isolation. Remember, we need each other.

Prayer:

Lord, Thank you for creating me for community. Help me to realize my life is not my own. Your design for all of creation is good and with your grace Father, allow me to reflect all that is good in your creation. I pray that I attract others to You. Please break down any walls that would prohibit me from sharing your love. Grant me the strength to disciple in your truth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Blessed Are The Believers

Luke 1:45

“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”

Mary, the mother of Jesus, was an ordinary young woman that was handpicked by God for a very special assignment. And though Mary was young in years, she was wise in spirit. In the natural or logically speaking, Mary was put in a position that risked everything she had planned for her life. She was engaged to be married, starting a new and fresh life with a man she loved. To a woman in that time, marriage was her livelihood. The night Mary was met by an angel, telling her that she was with child, compromised everything she thought she had going for her life.

You and I can relate to this more than you might initially see. You see, God has handpicked each of us for a very special assignment as well. I can surely speak for myself when I say, my personal plans have taken a back seat to the position and purpose that God has paved for me. It took me some time to adjust and I’m still adjusting while trying with all my imperfections to let go and let God lead me. Maybe you too feel God pulling you away from your own plans to align with His. It’s uncomfortable and not easy to stay the course of God’s plan. But as God puts you on assignment, He always supplies you with the means and the way to complete the assignment if you just believe.

Luke 1:45- “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”

Just like Mary, God desires to use you and me. It’s for His glory and there are blessing attached to His glory. Believing that God can and will fulfill what He promises you is powerful! It takes courage and strength that only the Lord can provide because often times, your assignment won’t be popular. It won’t fit into culture or the world’s ways of thinking and living. You’ll be asked to not conform but stand firm and standing firm means that sometimes you’ll stand alone. In the natural it seemed like Mary was in a compromising position but God knew exactly what He was doing and how He would make a way for Mary. Regardless of what society says, God’s plan will always prevail, whether or not you submit or resist. What if Mary rejected the news that she would birth the son of God? What if she failed to believe because she lacked trust in God’s promise? God didn’t create Mary with any supernatural strength that He hasn’t given you and me. You and I can be just as courageous and faithful as Mary; a woman who came from very meager beginnings just planning to live a life she deemed normal. All we need is an open heart and courage to believe.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, Thank you for choosing me for your special assignments. It is not without you that I can do anything. Help me when I struggle to believe and give me strength. Lord, please show me the way, your way. When I stand alone, please help me to stand firm. It is a privilege and an honor to serve you and I realize in serving you, I need you. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Where to from Here

This year has been a whirlwind to say the least. Struggles and grievances are at an all time high. There is so much social and political unjust. Peaks of mountaintops seem too high to reach and valleys seem to be a lowly place of residence for far too many people. How do we keep moving forward? How can we put one foot before the other and just keep moving? 

As we close out the year, many are expecting and seeking a fresh new start. Many are looking for relief, for something fresh, or for hope. Christmas is just a few days away and I’m reminded that over 2000 years ago, many people were in the same predicament we find ourselves in today. Looking for hope. They didn’t realize a promise was coming, a fresh start was approaching, our Savior was being born. Today, we have the privilege of knowing that that promise has come to past. A Savior had come to redeem was true hope materialized in the flesh. Let that bring you joy as you anticipate something new, fresh, and hopeful. When you celebrate Christmas in just a few days, reflect on the eternal hope that our Savior brings today. Not just of His birth, but also of His return. I pray that your heart be stirred with praise and thankfulness as you anticipate the continued promises of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To know Him gives us life abundantly. 

So, where to from here? The answer is UP! Our praises are UP, our hope is UP, our love is UP, our forgiveness is UP, our grace for one another is UP and our head is held UP. We will persevere, we will stand firm, and we will be more than conquerors. It’s only UP from here. Trust God as though your life depends on it because it does. There is no false hope in Jesus. Believe with me today! As I close, I’m reminded of a hymn we use to sing at my church as a child and it goes: “Hold to His hands, God’s unchanging hands. Hold to His hands, God’s unchanging hands. Build your hope on things eternal, hold to God’s unchanging hands.” Amen!

Prayer:

Father, Thank You for being our everlasting hope. Your promises never fall void. Even though in difficult times, You find a way to surround us with your love. Today, I’m reflecting on the anticipation of a very special birth, the one of your Son, Jesus. The true manifestation of your promise to deliver us from this world. Thank You for your promises fulfilled and your unchanging hands. May Your Holy Spirit fill me up reminding me that it’s only up from here. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Great is Your Faithfulness

Thoughts of God’s faithfulness was prompted by reading a verse in Lamentations 3:23- “They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” The more I internalize that concept, the more grateful I become. God is faithful regardless. He doesn’t promise one thing and then do another. He doesn’t forget about you or your needs. He doesn’t just attempt to make a way, He is the way. And I could run down the many list of ways God has never failed. In my thoughts, I was prompted to reflect on Jesus, the manifested prophecy, the Messiah and how He was brought to flesh to die. And being fully man and fully God that night in the garden of Gethsemane as He prayed “Father, if it be your will, take this cup from me” He would still follow through in His faithfulness. He didn’t second guess what He was sent to do. He just followed through. He would die for you and me and generations to come. In that moment, He would exchange all His perfection for our sin to abolish everything that would send us to our eternal graves- He is faithful; that is just who He is. Faithfulness is so true to His nature and being. He witnessed first hand the sin, the temptation, the greed, the lies, the chaos of this world. But He knew He was the cure. Jesus would be the only one who could save us. So, He remained faithful.

I can only speak for myself, but I’m not that faithful. At the first sign of conflict, I’m second guessing. When the going gets tough, I’m looking for the exit. When it gets a little too uncomfortable for my liking, I’m trying to figure out the solution to bring comfort back into my life. I’m just not that faithful.

Where would we be without His faithfulness? Aren’t you so glad, Jesus didn’t second guess dying for us that night in the garden? Webster defines Faithful as, firm in adherence to promises in observance of duty. Jesus holds firm to His promises and His duty to save the world. There is no greater showcase of faithfulness and love.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank You for your faithfulness. I am so grateful that You never second guessed sending Jesus to sacrifice His life for us. There is no greater love than the love you supply. Help me Father, to become more faithful. Fill me with your Holy Spirit so I can be more steadfast and hold firm to your will and your way. I pray to grow more and more faithful to you everyday. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

Abundant Goodness

”Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his Holy Name. 2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His benefits- 3 who forgives me from your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.” Psalm 103:1-5

It can become extremely too easy to forget all the benefits of having such a great and mighty God. There are benefits of healing, forgiveness, redemption, love, compassion, and renewal. We tend to lose sight of His mercy with our grumbling and disproportionate satisfaction. We focus way too much on our lack and instead of our Provider. But God has a great deep love for us and that should be overwhelmingly exciting to know. The key to remembering is reflecting. Reflecting on how God has been there for you in the past, how He’s very present with you right now, and how your future is bright with Him.

In this Psalm, David is full of praise. He is reminding us of who God has shown Himself to be in our lives. And every now and then just like David, I get a praise in my heart, a song that I can’t shake, a verse that keeps me grounded, and an overflowing presence of the goodness of God. It’s so refreshing to stop and reflect on who God is. From glory to glory, God continues to be… just… so… good. There is no time or space where the goodness of God isn’t present; from Genesis to Revelation, from mountain tops to valleys, from wellness to sickness, from abundance to lack- GOD IS GOOD.

It’s too easy to forget my friends. We get distracted and lose focus and in turn we lose our way. We become independent of God because we’ve either grown impatient in our waiting or we never leaned in to let God lead. Whichever it is, God’s saying “Don’t forget who I am.” He’s too good to miss out on having Him front and center in your life. Remember who He is and worship Him with your praises!

Prayer:

Lord, you are such a mighty good God! I praise you with all that’s within me. Thank you for the benefits of a covenant relationship with you. You are so many things but in all things you are good. You are righteous, you are holy, you are strong, you are my King. Please forgive me when I forget, forgive me when I fail to acknowledge you for all of your greatness. I am forever grateful for Your grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Jesus

John 1:14, “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

This season highlights the promise fulfilled through the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. As Christians, we find ourselves reflecting on the amazing and glorifying promise of our redemptive Savior. God’s promise of a true King that would dwell amongst us in flesh on this earth, the Lamb of God who would sacrifice His very life to fulfill prophesy and the promise many prophets shared in the Old Testament saving the souls of many. Jesus, the perfect teacher, the perfect example, and the perfect sacrifice.

Jesus, fully human and fully God. Jesus, who would conquer death. Our one true King, a King that wasn’t recognizable to many who anxiously awaited His arrival. He is Royalty, He is Sovereign, He is God. I try so hard to imagine what it must have been like to live in such a time when all that you have been waiting for and anticipating finally came. What it must have been like to witness God in the flesh. Would I have received Him? Would I have been skeptical? Would I have been enthralled and enthused by His ways and His teachings? You know how it feels when you have prayed for that special something in your life and when God finally fulfills that promise to you? I imagine similar emotions running through all that witnessed Jesus in person. Parts of you are so excited that it’s finally happening, your prayers have been answered and there’s that other part of you that wonders is this real? Is this my answered prayers?

God knew the mixture of emotions we would have accepting His gift of the Savior so He ensured that He would leave us with more to hope for and less to doubt. God, then and now has given us so much evidence pointing to us Jesus; His first arrival to now where we await His second. Patient and steadfast God requires us to wait for His final promise to come to pass. Do you believe it, do you receive it? Our King is coming back for us! As I await, patiently and steadfast I ask the Holy Spirit to dwell with me everyday until the day comes when Jesus makes all things new. Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Prayer:

O Most High God, Thank You for your promises. We are waiting with anticipation for all things to be made new. Today, I am grateful for your Word, the Word that became flesh, the Word that was with you in creation and came with all power and glory to redeem the lives of your children. We focus on Jesus as you have asked, knowing that He is the way, the truth and the light. Father, Thank You for the sacrifice of your Son. In Jesus’ name, Amen.